Hic et Nunc
by asdfghjklb
Summary: Stefan leaves town with his new girl that Elena caught him cheating with and when he comes back for senior year Elena doesn't want to face him alone so she asks Damon to pretend that they are dating which he happily obliges to.
1. Tabula Rasa

"_**The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary. Men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." **_

_**- Joseph Conrad**_

EPOV

Do you know what its like for someone to give you the world and then take it back? As if it was on loan? Then you'd understand how I feel.

Today was just like my usual Saturday mornings of lounging around the house being lazy, I saw that there was a lot of mail that was left on my desk for me so I figured I should look through it. As I was looking through junk mail I found a note from this writers program I applied for over a year ago. Only a few people got accepted and it would look great on a college resume and I really wanted to get into this more then anything in the world. My mom was the one who pushed me into applying for it. I carefully opened my letter, taking out the paper, I read it over and found out I got accepted. I screamed and ran towards Jeremy's room.

" JEREMY! Look, Look, Look! " I shoved the paper in his face while bouncing up and down.

" We are happy to tell you that we've read over your application and thought you'd be perfect for this opportunity! " He went from mumbling the words to nearly screaming them. Jeremy picked me up in a big hug and spun me around. " This is great! Have you told Jenna? "

" Tell me what?" Jenna's head popped out of the door frame from her room.

" I got accepted into that writing program for the summer! "

" Elena! I'm so proud! " She came out of her room and gave me a hug.

" Thanks guys. I have to go tell Stefan! " I ran back into my room quickly throwing on jeans and making sure my hair was okay looking and ran down stairs and out the door. I got into my car and drove to the boarding house. I was so excited and I knew Stefan would be excited too. I just hoped Damon wasn't going to be there. I didn't want anything bringing me down from my amazing mood.

I pulled up to the boarding house, shutting off my car faster then I probably should of. I ran up the path leading to the door and went right in. Stefan always told me to walk right in which I always felt hesitant about but right now I didn't care. I ran into the house looking around

" Stefan?" I called throughout the house. I went to run to the stairs but I ran right into a hard cold chest. I looked up to see Damon looking pissed and I could tell a little bit sad too. I didn't want to read too much into it. I just wanted to find Stefan " Excuse me Damon. " I said trying to ignore him.

" Elena you cant go up there. "

" What are you talking about? I got great news! I have to find Stefan. " I smiled at him and tried to move around him but he stepped right back into my direction. " Damon?"

" I cant let you go up there. "

" But Damon you don't understand I got into- " I brought up the paper to show but then decided not to. " Oh never mind you wouldn't care. But seriously Damon this is really important. "

" So is this. Come on Elena, you have to leave. " Now I was starting to get worried. Damon's face hadn't changed one bit.

" What is going on? " He started to gently lead me to the door.

" Just come back later tonight. " He went to open the door but I stopped him.

" No Damon! What's going on? His he okay? Why wont you let me see Stefan? " I turned around and headed towards the stairs. I was dead set on getting to that bedroom now.

" Elena, I'm trying to help you right now. " He looked exasperated and tired.

Something not right was going on here. Instead of listening to him I marched up the stairs ignoring his pleas to come back. I went to Stefan's door and quickly opened it. If Damon wasn't acting so weird I normally would of knocked. I came face to face with... me? It took me only a couple of seconds to realize it was Katherine in front of me not a mirror.

" Katherine? What are you doing here? " She didn't say anything just gave a smirk I've seen millions of times on Damon. Stefan came into view without a shirt on looking shocked.

" Elena? What are you doing here? "

" I- I have a paper..." All my excitement washed away. I knew I sounded young and defenseless at that moment.

" Elena this isn't what it looks like. " As Stefan was speaking I took time to look up and down Katherine. She was wearing nothing but a blue t-shirt that I've seen on Stefan's plenty of times. It all clicked together then. My paper dropped to the floor and I slowly backed away.

" Oh my god. " I put a hand over my mouth. No. Not my Stefan, he wouldn't do that. " No. No. No. " I started backing away from the door. I turned around and ran down the stairs. I stopped and saw Damon's face. He looked hurt and tired. He knew what I saw and I knew what he's been hearing. We gave each other a brief look saying we both felt the same way. I looked back towards the stairs that Stefan stood at.

" Elena wait! " Before he could move I rushed out the door running to my car. I drove off with tears clouding up my eyes. I couldn't get home faster. How could this happen? How could he do this to me! And Damon! How could he do that to his brother! I pulled up to my house and noticed Jenna and Jeremy were gone. I was silently praying for that the whole way back. I ran into the house and up to my bedroom collapsing on my bed. Crying my eyes out. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to do.

My world has been forever changed. I could never forgive Stefan. Never!

After a couple of hours of crying my eyes out I heard Jenna come home. I figured this was the best time to straighten myself up and walk downstairs, back to reality. Where the world has moved on.

" Elenaaaa!" Jenna was yelling for me so I whipped my eyes as fast as I could. I didn't look great but I looked decent. I walked down the stairs to see Jenna carrying a big bucket with hot pads on. " Someone is at the door can you get it, my hands are kind of full. "

" Sure." I was praying it wasn't Stefan. Please don't be Stefan, please don't be Stefan, please don't be Stefan. I opened the door to see Stefan. Typical.

" Elena we have to talk. " His eyes were pleading. The way he looked at me, all I wanted to do was hug him and tell him I forgive him. But I couldn't.

" Stefan... I already know all the things you will say. But... I cant- I cant be with a cheater. I accepted everything about you. Your flaws, your past, your family problems and your vampire issues. But this I cant accept. I will never be able to trust you ever again. I'm sorry Stefan but this is it. I'm so mad at you right now, I cant even look at you. "

" I understand. I'm sorry Elena. You were supposed to be my forever. "

" Forever didn't last very long. " I slammed the door in his face.

I walked into the kitchen and Jenna's face looked like she knew what was going on.

"Was that Stefan? What happened? " I went and sat down at the counter letting a tear slid down my face.

" I just broke up with him. "

The next morning I went to find my paper from yesterday with the number to call for all the information on the program for the summer. I looked through my purse, jean pockets, throughout my car and even my bra but still no luck. All along I knew where it was but I didn't want to accept it. I left it at the boards house. The last place I wanted to be was there but after and hour I decide it was inevitable. I got into my car and slowly drove over there. Dragging out the drive as long as possible.

I pulled into the driveway to see Stefan's car was gone. Thank god! I got out of the car and went to the door. Dead set on knocking this time. I put my hand up to knock but the door opened before I could. Damon's was standing there with a glass of whiskey in his hand and motioned for me to come in.

" I know what your here for. " We went up the stair and into his room. I tried my best to ignore Stefan's room but my gaze fell that way. The familiar pang in my chest started up so I focused in on Damon. I walked to his door frame and leaned against it while I watched him go to his desk. He pulled out a somewhat crumpled piece of paper and walked over handing it to me.

" Congratulations by the way. I remember you were talking about this. Your mother would of been very proud of you. " I looked up into his eyes to see him being dead serious.

" Thanks Damon. "

" When do you leave? That program is in North Carolina right? " I started to turn away from the door and he followed.

" Yea. I leave in two weeks. I'm nervous. " We were already at the bottom of the stairs walking to the door. I know Damon could sense my urgency to leave.

" Don't be. You'll be great." I gave him a week smile and went for the door. " Just so you know, Stefan is leaving with- with a friend. " I turned to look at him.

" Friend. As in Katherine? " He just shook his head. " Are you going to be around?"

" Yea I'm staying. I got business to attend to. I'll see you when you get home. " I just realized that this was goodbye for three months. Without thinking I gave him a big hug. Yesterday I was still pissed off at him for many reasons but things have changed since then.

" I'll miss you Damon. " I let go off him and walked back to the door.

" Of course you will. " I smiled and left the boarding house. This summer was going to change things. A lot.

_**AN: Tell me what you think. Any suggestions for future chapters? REVIEW!**_


	2. I'm totally insanely all mixed up

_** "The healthy man does not torture others. Generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers."**_

_**- Carl Jung**_

EPOV

Today was August 22. I've been dreading this day for months. Today is the day I go home to Mystic Falls. I've spent my whole summer away from supernatural creatures, pointless drama, and the Salvatore brothers. For a while my life felt normal again. It felt like when I got home my parents would be waiting for me. I'd walk into the house drop my bags and run to them hugging each as hard as I could, making up for lost time. I'd put my stuff away and we would have a special dinner and they would listen to me talk about all my adventures, new friends, and how great of an opportunity it was. But that's not how it will be. Sure I am going home to Jenna and Jeremy but I'm also going home to the wickedness Mystic Falls possesses. When I get back, reality will crash in that I'm alone. I'm going to be humiliated. I was the girl who went around telling everybody how Stefan and I were going to be together forever, how we were stronger then the typical high school relationship, and how we knew exactly what we wanted; each other. How do I go back and tell my friends that we aren't together anymore because he cheated on me with his ex back from 1864 who left him for over a century and has my face when we were 'oh so perfect' for each other. Truth was, I was very bitter about the situation. I mean, who wouldn't be? I was so mad and so hurt. Over the summer I stuffed all the pain away and now it's going to be released all over again.

All these thoughts were running through my head while I was driving back. I was about 5 miles away and I was deliberately taking my time. When I passed the 'Welcome To Mystic Falls' sign, it was official. I'm back...Great. Instead of going home right away I stopped at the grill to get some food. It was only noon so Jenna would be at work and Jeremy would be doing his own thing.

I sat down at a random booth and ordered a water. It felt strange to be back. I would come here all the time before by myself but now it held a certain loneliness to it. I looked around for someone I could talk to but no one was really here. It was dead here in daytime. My eyes flashed to the bar to see if Matt might be working but instead of Matt I saw the back of no other then Damon Salvatore. I knew that back from anywhere. I was mentally screaming at myself. Figures he would be at the only bar in town. Stupid daytime drinker. I sunk down into the booth a little lower trying to hide myself a little more. It was only Damon, me, and an elderly couple in the far corner of the grill. He was going to notice me, come over here, talk about his brother and I was going to stab him with my fork and walk out while he sat there confused. I really didn't want to think about Stefan right now. I obviously wasn't over him and seeing Damon was like practically seeing Stefan.

While I was dramatically trying to melt into the plastic of the booth and be invisible, Damon slide off his chair and started walking towards the door. He probably didn't see me. I felt ridiculous at the moment so I straightened up and watched as he went for the door. He stopped with his hand on the door handle and looked my way. He was smirking and made eye contact with me right away. He just winked and went out the door. OK so I was wrong, he knew I was there the whole time.

After I ate my food and paid my bill, I decided it was time to go home. By now Jenna should be back and I really missed her. When I pulled into the driveway she came running out of the house with her hands in the air. I barely got my door open before she attacked me.

" Your back! Your back! Your back! " She was holding onto me so tight I couldn't even get my laughter out. She left go and I finally was able to breath.

" I missed you so much Jenna! "

" We missed you too. You're never leaving again. I'm never letting you move out of this house. Ever. " I laughed and went to the trunk of the car to get my bags. We carried in my stuff and we went inside.

I smelled the familiar scent of the house and looked around. Nothing has changed. It was just like how I left it. Just like how it was years ago. I went up to my room and dropped my bags and ran over to my bed while jumping onto it. As much as I dreaded coming home, I missed this.

After a couple hours of talking to Jenna then later Jeremy it was already night time. I felt extremely tired. Its been a long day. Jenna and Jeremy went to go pick up some Chinese food while I sat at home alone. The doorbell went off, and all I wanted to do was crawl into the kitchen and wait for them to go away but I figured I should get it anyway, it might be important. I opened the door to see Damon standing there with a big grin on his face.

" Elena Gilbert. The little writer girl, who likes to hide from me in empty restaurants. "

I laughed and said " Damon Salvatore. The little vamp boy, who likes to drink alone in empty restaurants."

" You are going to let me come in, and you are going to tell me all about your amazing summer. " I thought about it for a second and came to the conclusion that talking to him probably wont be as bad I thought. I moved out of the way and opened the door a little wider. He walked in and went straight for the stairs going up to my bedroom. I slowly followed even though I didn't expect to be going up here.

" Living room isn't good enough for you? " I said as he jumped up on my bed and leaned against the headboard.

" I prefer beds, not couches but if your really want to get kinky we can go back downstairs..." He leaned forward a little acting like he was going to stand up. I just laughed and pushed him back down and sat at the end of my bed with my legs crossed. He sure hasn't changed. " So go on. How was it? "

We sat there for a while as I told him all about my summer. I told him how many people I've met and all the connections I now have and how my future is basically set up for me. When I was done explaining, we heard Jenna and Jeremy return.

" Wanna stay for dinner? "

" Are you offering, or do I have to eat normal stuff? " I gave him a disapproving look but smiled anyway.

" Well I don't know if Chinese food is classified as normal. "

After dinner we were back into my room and Damon was helping me unpack. I had to practically rip my bra's out of his hands. We were almost done when he picked up something that was at the bottom of my suitcase.

" Why aren't you wearing this? " I looked at it to see it was the necklace filled with vervain Stefan gave me. He was holding it from the chain.

" Why do you think I'm not wearing it? " He looked at it and gently touched the charm, hissing in pain when it burned his skin.

" As much as I know you would hate to wear this, It's a must Elena. For your safety. " I shook my head at this.

" No Damon, I wont. This just ties me to him and I don't want that. " He looked at the necklace and back to me.

" Your back in town and you know very well how necessary this is." He dropped the necklace on my bed and then grabbed my hand walking towards the door. He ignored my questions as we were going down the stairs. " Jenna, Elena and I are going for a walk. We'll be back in a little bit. " He said while opening the front door.

I looked over to see Jenna looking at us questionably. " Okay... Just be careful. "

Damon dragged me to his car and basically shoved me in. " OK, so were not going for a walk? "

" What tipped you off? " He said while getting into the car. " If you're not going to wear that necklace, we can just go get another thing from my house. "

" Oh OK. Why didn't you just say so?"

" I like to make situations a little bit more dramatic then necessary lately. My life has been so dull without you to annoy. "

I laughed and said " I'm sure you've been bursting with excitement knowing I was coming back. "

" You have no idea. "

We pulled up to boarding house. We both went quiet at what we saw. Stefan's car was in the driveway. I looked over to see a very confused Damon. " Was he not supposed to be here? "

" He said he was gonna be back 3 days before school started. "

" School doesn't start till September. "

Damon looked at me and said. " You don't have to go in there. "

" No its okay. I have to face him sooner or later. But I'm not going to talk to him. Can we just laugh hysterically and go up to your room? " He just smiled and got out of the car and ran around to open my door.

" This is going to be really hard. Pretending you said something funny. "

" Damon you know I'm hilarious. "

He just smiled and asked " Are you ready? " and opened the door. We both burst out laughing as loud as we could. At first it wasn't real but then I couldn't help but laugh at how fake we sounded. We mind as well been reading out loud hahahahaha in a monotone. I could tell Damon noticed it too and started laughing. We walked up the stairs and I looked behind me to see Stefan and Katherine sitting awfully close on the couch watching us both with dumbstruck looks on thier faces. It made me laugh even harder.

When we got into the room we both were laughing. It took us awhile to settle down.

" We suck at fake laughing! " We both started laughing again.

" I know that was terrible. We are horrible actors. "

" That's for sure! Now what are we here for again? " I watched as Damon walked over to the edge of his bed and opened the drawer from his side table and walk back towards me.

" I was planning on giving this to you , because I figured you wouldn't want to wear that old ugly thing from Stefan anymore. " I looked down to see a silver bracelet with a little glass heart filled with some sort of liquid. Probably the vervain. " I can touch it cause the vervain is inside the charm. Give me your hand. " I gave him my hand and he clasped it on. " Okay now I think we need to get out of this house. Even though were not by them I still feel the awkwardness. "

" Thanks Damon." I said while starring at the bracelet. " And I totally know what you mean about the awkwardness. How are we going to leave. "

" Well the laughing thing was a fail. " That made me laugh just thinking about it.

" Let's just walk quickly out. "

We basically ran out of the house and to Damon's car. We drove back as quick as we could. We pulled up to my house and I got out. I turned around and saw the car was still running and he was still in the car. I watched as the window was being rolled down.

" I'm going to go back. I'll see you around. " I didn't notice on the way home, but now thinking about it he was really quiet and I could tell the whole Katherine and Stefan thing bothered him more then he let show.

" Bye Damon. Do you wanna get lunch tomorrow? " I saw him brighten up a little bit. Which made me smile.

" Yea I will meet you at the grill 12 o'clock. Don't hide from me this time. " I laughed a little and watched as he drove off.

I walked inside and said goodnight to everybody and went in my room. Without Damon around all my thoughts started attacking me. I didn't feel the pain in till I got home and was all alone. It hurt so much to see them together. In my subconscious mind I thought maybe, just maybe me and Stefan and I could have another chance at being together. But the fact he didn't come back for me, he stills was with Katherine, ruined all my hope. It hurt to know I wasn't good enough. To know probably the whole time together it was just my looks that kept him interested. Did he even love me? I doubted it. I was so mad and so hurt. All I wanted was to make Stefan hurt just like he hurt me. To make Stefan realize what a mistake it was. I wanted him to want me again and I think I had a pretty good idea, just how to do it.

_**AN: Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed/ added this story to alerts, favorites, Etc... It means the world to me. **_

_**Tell me what you think of this chapter :)**_


	3. I know my role and I play it well

_**"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars." **_

_**- Khalil Gibran **_

I ran out of my house. I was running super late and if there was anyone you didn't want to be late on it was Damon. I ran to my car and drove off towards the grill. When I got out of the car, I started walking towards the door till I saw Stefan stepping out of the grill. I quickly ducked down and hid behind a car and watched as he walked towards the parking lot. He was walking right towards me and then I realized the car I was hiding behind was his. I mentally cursed myself and decided to stand up and avoid him. I took out my phone and pretended to text someone. But just my luck Stefan would say something.

" Elena? " Ahhh no.

" Oh hey Stefan. " My voice sounded a little bit higher then usual. It does that in awkward, uncomfortable situations.

" How are you? "

" I'm good, but hey can we catch up later I'm really late for my umm... for my date. " I quickly started walking again while giving a little wave as I went leaving him there. My date? Really Elena, you're pulling that card? I walked in and immediately found Damon and walked towards him. I sat down and smiled.

" Did I miss something? " I was setting my purse down next to me and looked up at him confused.

" What?"

" Date? " I immediately blushed. So he heard that.

" Oh yea, sorry. I was just... I don't know. " I said while quickly taking the menu and hiding my face.

" If I would of known this was a date I would of worn my grey shirt. " I put the menu down while laughing.

" It's not a date and black looks better on you anyway. " He quirked and eyebrow but I just ignored it went back to looking at the menu even though I already knew it like the back of my hand.

After we ate and talked about random things I figured it was time to bring up my master plan. I was just really nervous about Damon's reaction.

" Sooo..." I didn't know how to come out with though. I should have planned a speech or something. " Okay, I'm just going to get straight to the point. " I watched as he put his cup of coffee down and looked at me curiously. " I know you have been upset with the whole Katherine and Stefan issue being back in town and I've been really upset with it too. I really, really want it to look like I'm over Stefan, I don't want him to know how much it destroyed me. And I think we are close enough that asking you this might not be so far fetched. " He still wasn't catching on. " Maybe we should you know, pretend..." I trailed off hoping he'd fill in the blanks but it didn't look like it.

" What?"

" Oh my god, Damon will you pretend to be dating me! Please? Just for like a month. " I watched him carefully trying to read his expression, waiting for for him to start laughing at me.

" Okay. I'm down." What? That's it?

" Really? " I asked a little surprised.

" As long as we get to make out. "

I wrinkled my noise. " Only when necessary. "

" I'll make it necessary. So how are we going to show that we are together? "

" I really don't know. I guess, we have to hold hands whenever we are around them, uh I guess I can stay over at random nights, and we could just flat out tell them. "

" Uhhh. I have to spend so much time with you then. "

" Oh please, your upset? I have to deal with you for this whole time. That's like next to torture. "

" That's a little extreme, Don't ya think? "

" Not at all! Do you wanna go back to the boarding house? We can make ourselves official. " He eyebrows shot up.

" Official? " I stood up from the booth and so did he.

" To Stefan and Katherine! Not in any other way idiot. " I said while slapping his arm.

" Time to change my relationship status on facebook!" I just rolled my eyes.

" So, I'll see you in a couple of minutes. " I said as we walked out of the grill and went to out separate cars.

Damon and I arrived at the boarding house at the same time. Stefan's car was in the drive way and it hit me that we were actually doing this. What if it all backfires? What if me and Damon kill each other before Stefan finally realizes the mistake he made? We walked to the door together and both looked at each other. I could tell he was thinking somewhat of the same thing but towards Katherine. He pushed the door open and we went inside. We saw Katherine and Stefan on the couch and we both froze. I gave him a look of ' What are we supposed to do now?' . He just stared at me wide eyed not knowing what to do either.

Damon stepped up and walked into the living room with me trailing behind and headed for his alcohol leaving me there alone, standing in the entrance of the living room. To say there was tension in this house would be an understatement.

" I thought you were on a date? " Stefan said a little bit snarky.

" I was... kind of still am. " I looked towards Damon while Stefan and Katherine followed my gaze. I watched as Damon's eyes went wide when he looked up from his glass and everyone was unexpectedly staring at him. Serves him right for basically feeding me to the sharks and running towards his whiskey.

I smiled at him sarcastically and Damon walked towards me and put his arm around my shoulder.

" So you guys are together now? " Stefan said looking pissed off. I was a little surprised by his instant anger but that was the goal.

" Yea Stefan. We've been together for awhile now. " Damon looked at me and I nodded giving him control of the conversation. " We have sex. All the time. A lot, actually. So if you here any familiar noises-" I cut him off my jabbing my elbow into his ribs. That was so embarrassing. Now is not the time to blush in a room full of crazy vampires. Life lesson number 1. Never willingly give Damon control of a conversation.

" Well come on Damon lets just, umm lets go to your room. "

" Oooo what are we going to do? " I glared at him trying to tell him to stop with my eyes.

" Shut up Damon. " I said completely serious. We walked up the stairs leaving a completely speechless Stefan behind. I looked at Katherine who was just smirking at us. Whatever.

When we got up to the room I figured it was safe to talk.

" What the hell was that! ' We have sex all the time'. " I said while mimicking his voice. He just laughed at me.

" Did you see how mad he got? I'm just giving him a taste of his own medicine. Okay? Trust me on things like this. "

" You know I think we make the worst and most awkward couple ever its kind of hilarious to me. Like to be honest I don't even know how I could kiss you without laughing at the absurdity of it. "

" Do you want to practice? " He said while wiggling his eyebrows.

" As tempting as it sounds..." I trailed off. " So I have to go school shopping tomorrow and you're going to help me."

" Why?"

" That is what good boyfriends do. "

" Who said I was the good boyfriend. "

" I did. Because your going to be the good boyfriend for a month. Then you can do whatever you want. "

" Longest month of my forever lasting life. "

" That's a little extreme, Don't ya think?" I said while mimicking what he said early today.

" Not funny. "

" So what are we doing tonight boyfriend? "

" What are we supposed to do? " I thought about this. I couldn't really use my relationship with Stefan for any ideas. It was always life or death situations. I thought about Matt and that was more of what I was going for.

" Mall? "

" Cliche. "

" Well then you choose what we do."

" We should just chill out here. Save us from the questionable gaze that everyone will give us. Scary movie night? "

" Let's do it. "

After about 2 hours of hanging out around Damon's room we decided to go to the video store and pick out some movies. We argued for a good half hour about what movie to get. Once we left we basically destroyed the grocery store looking for the best snacks. When we got back the boarding house was empty so we decided to set up in the living room. We gathered all the pillows and blankets in the house and crashed on the floor.

We started watching the movie and whenever a suspenseful scene came on I would start slapping Damon's arm saying ' this is so intense, this is so intense, this is so intense!' or shove as much food in my mouth possible while he laughed at me, or how lame the movie was getting.

There was a gross birth defective thing chasing after the last girl left in the movie through a fun house. I was shoving popcorn in my face and unconsciously moving towards the TV. The screen went black and when it flashed back on Stefan's face appeared out of the dark. Before I could control myself a loud scream emerged from my lungs and I jumped into Damon's lap hiding my face in his shoulder. All the lights turned on and I carefully got off of Damon a little embarrassed at getting so caught up.

" Its OK Elena, I know the feeling. " He said while laughing again then looking at Stefan. " Go away! "

" Stefan just rolled his eyes and said. " Your not the only one who lives here Damon. "

" Fine, we will just go into my room." Damon said while grabbing my hand and picking me up. Once we got into his room he jumped on the bed and I just stood there, not knowing what to do. " Come on, Elena. I wont bite." A smirk appeared on his face. " Unless you want me too. I don't judge. " I just ignored him and jumped over him on the bed to the other side.

" That movie really wore me out. "

" Now imagine living life like that, I can. "

" No wonder why you sleep your days away. So what are we going to do now?" I said while getting under the covers.

" We could pretend to have sex. " I thought about it for a minute. " But you have to make me sound really good. " I laughed really hard.

" Is that what you say to all the girls? " He just frowned.

" Again, your so not funny. And trust me, Its all on their free will. Would you like an example? "

" Actually can we pretend to have sex tomorrow, I'm really tired. " He frowned and laid down.

" Uh, fine. Goodnight girlfriend.

" Night boyfriend."

**AN: Review:)**


	4. Hate in my heart, Love in my mind

_**"I didn't have anything against them, and they never did anything wrong to me, the way other people have all my life. Maybe they're just the ones who have to pay for it."**_

_**- Perry Smith**_

EPOV

Damon and I were walking down isles looking for school supplies. I convinced him to actually come with me, which was harder then I thought. I was looking for notebooks while Damon was quietly following me. I was crouched down looking through a bin when I heard my name. I looked up to see Bonnie. She had a bunch of things in her hands. I stood up and went to talk to her. I haven't seen her in months and I missed her so much. I didn't notice till after I reached her that she wasn't as happy to see me. She was staring over my shoulder so I looked behind me. She was staring at Damon who was obviously keeping his distance. I turned back to Bonnie seeing clear distaste on her.

" Hey Bonnie..." She turned her gaze towards me.

" What are you doing with him? "

" He's helping me get stuff for school. "

" Obviously. Why? "

" Its just that...umm. " I didn't notice Damon approach us till he put his arm around me. I looked at him and then back to Bonnie. I think she got the picture.

" No. " She said while backing away and turning around.

" Bonnie... wait. " She didn't stop just kept walking away and turned the corner.

" Are you sure you really wanna do this? Is Stefan really worth it? " Damon whispered in my ear.

" Damon. It's not Stefan's fault everyone hates you. It's yours. You just can't do anything right. " I knew I was taking my anger out on him, but at this moment I really didn't care.

I walked away from Damon getting all my necessary stuff, doing my best at ignoring him. We checked out and it was a quiet ride home. When we got to my house I walked inside, and Damon followed. He really doesn't know when to just leave me alone. I went and sat down on the couch and Damon did the same. I turned to look at him, to see he was staring off into space. I guess I've been so caught up in myself lately I didn't even realize how quiet he has been. I don't think I've heard one sarcastic or sexual remark come from him today. It was clear something was up with him, but I knew better then to ask because he will never say anything to me.

" You know Bonnie's probably told Caroline who has probably told everyone in Mystic Falls now. There's no going back and I'm sorry that I took it out on you. " I mumbled the words even though I knew Damon didn't do apologizes and he sure didn't do forgiveness it still made a difference to know I didn't mean it. "You asked if Stefan was worth it. He isn't. He has faults and has made some horrible mistakes. I'm stupid for wanting him back. But even though I know all his flaws and how mean he can really be and the fact I would never be able to trust him again, still there is just this unrealistic thought that... well I guess to me he is perfect. Or at least the idea of him and lately its been hard. I might not be showing it all too much but it still kills me. It kills me that his choice between us was clearly personal. It kills me that I wasn't good enough. I just almost wish that I wasn't pretty enough or I wasn't his type, but that's clearly not how it was. She's practically my twin and I, just wasn't good enough. " A single tear fell from and I quickly went to wipe it away. " I know your going through a lot Damon and I-" I couldn't finish because he cut me off.

" Elena, it's true I hurt too, but I'm not about to have a heart to heart here. Don't expect that. It's not in me. I'm doing you a favor. That all this is, a favor. I'm not your therapist, and I wasn't your friend in till you wanted something from me. You made that clear before you found out what perfect Stefan was doing behind your back. When you told me I lost you forever, I was done. I was done trying to be what you wanted from me and when I agreed to this, I didn't realize it. I woke up this morning and it hit me. I'm being used...again. I'll be your pretend boyfriend...for now. But Elena I wont be your pretend friend. Okay? "

He doesn't even know how wrong he is. I watched as he stood up and walked towards the door.

" Damon wait." I got up quick and ran after him. " That not how it is Damon. "

" Save it. Elena. When this month is over, or even sooner when Stefan comes running back, we wont be friends. We wont be nothing. That just the way things are. "

" Damon that's a lie. It's not just the way things are, its the way you like them. Don't blame this on me. It your choice. You like to be unhappy! You like to have no friends. "

" I guess that's just why everyone hates me Elena. Don't you get it? I don't want to live this destiny of always being second best! It goes on endlessly. I'm tired of you trying to get to me, to break me down! You constantly remind me of how I cant do anything right and stefan cheats on you and he is still perfect in your eyes! Am I the only one who see's how screwed up that is? " He opened the door and walked out. I ran after him onto the porch, watching as he got into his car. He rolled down the window and said " Come over around 7 tonight. "

" Why? " I yelled.

" Because that's what good girlfriends do." He said while quoting me and driving off.

I watched as he drove away. I couldn't think of a way to take all of his pain away. That's all I wanted at this moment. I know Damon. He says stuff he doesn't mean when he's upset. We will definitely be friends. We've been through so much to just not be. He's just upset. I kept repeating that. I kept trying to convince myself that's how it was. Even if realistically I may of just lost him for good. I really couldn't handle that right now. I couldn't handle just losing Stefan and then losing Damon too. I couldn't, and wouldn't think of that. It hurts too much. I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down as best as I could. I went up stairs to take a nap. Suddenly I just felt exhausted.

After sleeping for a couple of hours I woke up and thought it was best to go to the boarding house a little early. I really needed to talk to Damon. I got ready and left the house about a hour later. I wasn't looking forward to this but Damon needed to know that I couldn't lose him. That I wasn't using him. I pulled up to the house and went down the familiar path to the door. I knocked quietly, but I'm sure they would hear. The door opened to a confused Damon.

" I said 7 not 6:30 . " I saw that he was only kidding but I was prepared for Damon to be still mad at me. I smiled a little but then it hit me that he was still mad and that this was only a show for Katherine and Stefan. Just like how our relationship was, a show. My smile dropped completely and Damon frowned at it. I walked right past him into the house, I saw Stefan standing in front of the mirror they had in the hallway. Damon's phone started ringing and I heard him mumble about having to take it and stepped outside. I walked towards Stefan, he was fumbling with his tie so I stepped up and took it in my hands and started to fix it.

" You would think after all these years, I'd get it right. " I laughed a little. " So its been a little awkward around here, huh? "

" Yea I'd say. "

" I didn't think when I came home you'd be with anyone, especially my brother. " I tightened his tie up and dropped my hands from it.

" Well I didn't expect you to come back with Katherine. I guess we both were surprised. " I backed up a little no longer wanting to be so close. " So are you guys going out tonight? "

" Yea, but don't worry, it will be in the next town over. Nobody will recognize Katherine. You and Damon staying in again? " I could see a tad bit of jealousy behind his words but not as much as I wanted.

" I think so. He just told me to come by so I don't really know. " I turned my head to see Damon and Katherine walk into the house. Damon looked like he just wanted to kill someone. Lucky me, who gets to probably be that someone. I turned my attention to Katherine. Jealousy instantly took over me. Even though we looked exactly alike, she could pull off certain clothes I could never imagine wearing. I couldn't walk like her, I couldn't talk like her, I couldn't be her and that pissed me off more then anything.

Katherine practically ran to Stefan throwing her arms around him. I felt Damon come up beside me and I did the first thing I thought of. While Stefan and Katherine were hugging I turned into Damon catching his lips with mine. I caught him off guard and I could feel him freeze but almost instantly warm up to it. It took only about 3 seconds in till I pulled away. Damon didn't move and I felt his eyes on me. That was more fun then I thought it was going to be. I didn't know if it was being oh so bad or Damon just being Damon, amazing at everything. It tempted me to want to do it again...and again. Maybe I will take him up on practicing. A huge smile spread across my face when I saw Stefan's. He looked like he was going to punch out Damon. Katherine just looked like a clueless girlfriend, looking at herself in the mirror that was right beside us but I knew she was mentally taking notes on everything that was going down.

" Well we should be going. " Katherine said while Stefan and her walked to the door.

" Bye Stefan. " I smiled as they left out the door.

" Did that feel good? Stefan looked pissed. " I turned towards Damon not realizing that kissing him probably didn't help our problem.

" Yea it did. "

" Well I am a geat kisser. "

" That's not what I was talking about. " I said while laughing and following him into the living room.

_**AN: So pretty much all I have planned out is the next chapter for this story then I have no idea so if you have any ideas feel free to tell me. **_

_**Review:)**_

_**I'm off to write the next chapter in For what it's worth I always aim to please. That will probably be updated tomorrow. Yay. **_


	5. Good men only come in few

_**"In all the darkest pages in the malign supernatural, there is no more terrible tradition than that of a vampire - a pariah even among demons." **_

_**-Writer Montague Summers**_

EPOV

" We need to talk. Sit down. " I said while walking into the living room.

" Elena you've been so demanding lately it's driving me crazy! there's a simpler way to get me to sit down say, ' Oh sweet beautiful, sexy, dashing Damon please sit down.' and I'll sit down. "

" You can say whatever but were still going to talk. " He rolled his eyes and sat down across from me. " I wanted to apologize..again. I've been really unfair. I didn't mean for you to think I was using you, because I wasn't. We had our issues in the past, but there in the past now. There is nothing I can do or you can do to change it. I'm willing to risk a lot doing this with you, but I'm not willing to risk our friendship, because we have one. We have a friendship and it's not fake. "

" You know this wont fix all our problems. "

" Yea but think about it, this could be a healing period for both of us. We will obviously be spending a lot of time together and it could go two ways. We could end up killing each other or we could go back to how things used to be before you killed my brother." I planned to keep going but that felt strange. "That sentence felt very weird to say. "

" Yea it didn't really fit in with he rest of what you were saying. It was like lets be friends you murderer. "

I heard the door start to open and I jumped up. Leaping towards Damon and right onto his lap. Stefan came in and started walking our way. I flipped my hair back and acted all surprised when I saw him.

" Oh my god. Stefan..." I said as I slowly got off of Damon who had wide eyes, definitely not expecting that. Stefan's face was priceless. He looked like he just walked into a murder going on.

" I- uh forgot my phone. This is awkward." He grabbed his phone and walked to the door. He looked back at us and I just winked at him and he quickly went through the door. I turned my attention back to Damon who still had the same face on.

" You look funny. "

" Well I wasn't expecting you to do that. One second were talking about me killing someone and then you pounce on me. I know I'm attractive, I just thought you had better self control. "

" It was necessary. "

" No it wasn't. Just like that kiss before they left. You probably liked it more then I liked it. " I just gave him a wicked grin and sat back down.

" Your only fooling yourself. "

" So what's our next diabolical plan for when they get home? "

" I don't know. We'll just do whatever comes to mind. "

Damon and I chilled out around the house waiting for Stefan and Katherine to get back. We were watching TV and arguing about what to watch. It somehow turned into a full on wrestling match for the remote. He had it and I was dead set on getting it. I was sitting on top of him on the floor and he held the remote in his hand and holding me back just out of reach with his other hand.

" Oh I like this position."

" Damon give me the remote." I started slapping my hands around mostly hitting air and he did the same thing. Then we heard the door open and we both froze. We quickly stood up and jumped on the couch. The moment they came in we put on our best fake smiles. I looked at Damon to see the most unnatural smile possible on his face. I laughed and then back to trying to smile.

" Wanna go for a walk mo? " I said in a baby voice.

" Sure Nena. " He said in the same way. Katherine and Stefan looked like the wanted to puke. We walked to the door while holding hands and once we got outside Damon started laughing. " Where did you get the nickname mo? "

" Well I was thinking Day then I was like that doesn't go with the way you look, you more of a night guy. Then thought Mon, but that was too close to man so I just went with Mo. "

" You really thought that out didn't you. "

I laughed and said " Its important to have cute, horrible nicknames. "

" Well your right, they are horrible. "

We unconsciously walked back to my house and walked up to the porch.

" Well I guess this is goodnight. " I leaned forward and quickly pecked him on the cheek.

" Goodnight Mo. " I walked inside and smiled at him before closing the door. I walked up to my room slowly. I needed sleep. I opened my door to see Katherine laying on my bed casually. She had one leg bent and was looking at her nails.

" Hello Elena. " It was weird to see her there. Before summer I would feel like my life is in danger but since Stefan and her started dating everything just changed.

" When did you get here? "

" When you and Damon went out with your cheesy smiles I soon followed. Stefan went out to grab some bunnies. I still cant convince him to live his undead life to the fullest. " She shifted off the bed and walked towards me. " I just wanted you to be aware I know your secret. "

" What are you talking about. "

" You and Damon. Seriously, what a joke. You know Stefan might not be able to hear you guy through closed doors because his senses are week but I'm much more powerful. I can hear everything. I can hear you arguing right before we walk through a door then you laughing like idiots. I know Elena. I've known all along. "

" Okay so you know. What are you going to do? " I said a little hopeless.

" Oh I'm not telling Stefan. But I thought I should warn you, when you do those little things like kiss Damon in front of Stefan, call him ridiculous nicknames, Stefan goes off into his little world thinking about it. It's really getting on my nerves. I wont tell Stefan but, the constant PDA needs to stop or I'll make it stop." She had a hard look on her face which scared me more then I would admit. " Okay? " She said quickly and gave a smile.

"W- W- W- Why wouldn't you tell Stefan? "

" Oh Elena don't stutter. The Salvatore brothers like a women with confidence in everything they do and say. Stefan doesn't need to know and maybe you'll fall for Damon too. Finally realize were not so different then you think. Damon was always my...second choice too." She gracefully walked out the door and vanished. I quickly ran to my phone and texted Damon.

_**'Damon! Katherine was at my house she knows!' **_I put my phone down on my bed anxiously waiting for him to reply back while I paced my room.

_**'What do you mean she knows?'**_ Seriously...

_**' What do you think idiot! She says she's known all along. **_'

_**' Why did you tell her!' **_Are you kidding me! Like I would tell Katherine of all people.

' _**Seriously? ' **_

_**' Ugh I'll be over in a sec.'**_ Right when I got the text message I heard a knock at my window. It was Damon.

" You weren't joking when you said a sec. " I said while opening the window.

" What exactly happened?" He said jumping straight to the point.

" She was on my bed waiting for me. " I saw his eyebrows shoot up going to make a remark but I just kept going. " She said she knew my secret and wasn't going to tell Stefan but we had to stop making out in front of him. "

" That no fair, that was part of my agreement to do this. "

" Out of anything you could be worried about that's what you pick? "

" Yes this is very devastating. So what are we going to do? " I thought about it. There wasn't much we could do.

" I guess nothing. Just see how things play out. Do you think she'll end up telling Stefan? "

" If she was going to tell him she would of told you, now get some sleep. I'll see you around. " He went for the window but I stopped him.

" I know that getting back at Katherine really doesn't work now that she knows. I'd understand if you just wanted to stay here. I wouldn't want to face her right now. " He looked at me for a good hard moment.

" How could I resist and invitation like that? " He smiled and dove onto my bed. I just laughed and jumped on top of him.

" Damon that's my side! " I was laughing and trying to push him over but he was just too heavy.

" Not tonight. " I kept trying to push him over but got even more tired in the process. I ended up just collapsing on top of him. Falling asleep half on my pillow and half on Damon. It was oddly comfortable. I could most definitly get used to this.

_**AN: Ahh. So now that Katherine has come out with it that she knows, what's gonna happen? I have no idea. **_

_**Review! Give me some motivation:) **_

_**Oh and I just gotta say the My Super Psycho Sweet Sixteen 2 has the most bombass soundtrack ever! You should check it out**_


	6. High of a love, Drunk from the hate

_**"Nothing is easier than to denounce the evil doer; Nothing more difficult than understanding him."**_

_**-Fyodor Dostoevsky**_

I awoke to my phone ringing. I peeled myself off Damon and ran to get my phone that was on the dresser across the room. I had a text from Stefan.

_**'Hey. I think we should start hanging out again. **_' Well that was unexpected and straight to the point. I smiled. This is exactly what I was going for but for some reason it didn't feel as good as it should. I turned my attention to Damon sleeping on my bed and Katherine's words were running through my head. 'Damon was always my second choice too'. I keep telling myself I'm not using him. He was doing the same thing I was, whether he admitted it or not he was going after Katherine like I was going after Stefan. But now that Katherine knows... does that mean I'm now using him? I'm so confused. I decided not to text Stefan back. I'll just talk to him next time I see him, which will be soon if Damon ever gets up.

I walked over to my desk and sat down. My diary was sitting there so I opened it up and wrote the date. I stared at the blank page not knowing what to write. I decided I'd go wash my face and clear my head. When I walked out of the bathroom Damon was still sleeping and I still didn't know what I could write. I didn't want to admit half the stuff I was vaguely thinking and if I wrote it down it would be an official thought. I went to my diary to close it when I noticed something was written on my blank page. It said, _Damon is so hot. He is just laying in my bed waiting for me to take advantage of him. I have to go now. -E_

I turned around with my diary in my hand. He was still sleeping in the exact same position, it didn't even look like he moved. I quietly closed my diary and walked to him. I started poking his face but he wouldn't even budge. I tried to roll him over, but that didn't work. I took the pillow that was right next to him and threw it over my shoulder, prepared to hit him as hard as I could. I swung the pillow and squeezed my eyes shut. I heard a thump and quickly opened my eyes to see no Damon, just my bed. I turned around and as I was turning a pillow slammed me right in the face. I stood there shocked with my mouth open and my hair all over my face. I couldn't even see Damon but I could here his laughter. I took my pillow and tried to hit him but he caught it and ripped it out of my hands before I could do anything.

" No Elena. You could of seriously hurt me. " I moved the hair off my face. He was standing there with my pillows and a giant smile on his face.

" I was trying to take advantage of you... with my pillows. "

He just laughed and said " So when did you figure out it was me? How long did it take for you to realize I was the culprit? "

" Obviously not too long. So what are you going to do today? "

" I'm hungry. " I wrinkled my noise and walked to my dresser looking for a pair of jeans.

" Oh yea I guess you haven't had a 'hook up drink up' in a while. You've been spending all your time with me. " I frowned a little at the thought of him hooking up with some random girl.

" Those girls, they come and go. " He said sensing I was upset.

" Yea well even though we aren't together, were just faking it, it brings up old bad feeling and memories. My fake boyfriend is cheating on me. He's my fake boyfriend to get back at my real ex boyfriend who also cheated on me. " I lied. That not really how I felt but that was a pretty good excuse.

" Then I'll make sure you just don't find out about it. " He said while smirking and walking to my door. That really didn't make me feel any better.

" Wait are you going to the boarding house? "

" No. Like I said, I'm hungry. " He said a little snappy and went out my door not looking back. He could of been a little nicer but who was I kidding, it was Damon.

I went back to getting ready, planning on going to see Stefan. I got dressed up and left the house. When I arrived at the boarding house it felt strange not going to see Damon but Stefan. When did that happen?

I knocked on the door and soon after Stefan answered it.

" Hey Stefan. "

" Hey. Damon's not here. "

" Oh yea he just left my house, I actually came here for you." He was shocked at first. "Is Katherine around? " I said while looking over his shoulder.

" Nope I haven't seen her since last night. Do you wanna come in? "

" Actually no. Do you want to go get food? I'm starving. " He just nodded.

" So I take it you got my text message this morning. " He said while closing the door behind him and walking outside.

" Yep and I agree. Things are a little weird but we could be friends again. " He smiled at my words and we went to my car. We decided to go to the grill because that's really the only place around here. We sat at the grill for a good couple of hours laughing at memories. We never went close to a Damon or Katherine conversation. For a while it felt like how it used to be. Damon and Katherine not on our minds. Just us hanging out. We were playing our third game of pool and I was winning. It was my turn and I went to shoot. As I was leaning down Stefan came behind me and started tickling my sides making me laugh and totally fail at hitting the ball. I was still laughing because he hadn't stopped when Damon walked in. I immediately froze when his gaze reached me. I could see him a little confused and then angry at the position Stefan and I were in. He glared at me then walked up to the bar. Stefan let go and walked over to the other side of the pool table to take his turn.

" Woah, he looked mad. "

" I know he's not even coming over here. " I said while looking over my shoulder at Damon, concerned a little.

" Sorry. "

" No it's fine he'll get over it. " I turned back to him and gave a weak smile. " I didn't tell him I was going to hangout with you. I guess I should of and I don't think Katherine is going to be too happy about us hanging out either. "

" Katherine doesn't care. "

" Yea I doubt that. So... how much trouble am I in with Damon? "

" Eh, you'll probably get the silent treatment for a while. He'll be snappy and sarcastic with you when he starts talking again. Then things will go back to normal. " I frowned and went to take my turn. I know even though we weren't really dating, it wouldn't be like that. But I still didn't like the sound of it.

" Normal? Isn't Damon always snappy and sarcastic. " Stefan laughed and I looked over to Damon again. He was talking to some random girl at the bar. What's he doing? I took out my phone and sent him a text.

'_** What are you doing? ' **_

It didn't take long in till I got a text back.

_**'Socializing.' **_

I decided not to text him back. Stefan noticed my change of mood and glanced in Damon's direction and frowned at what he saw, Damon talking to another girl. He just gave me a knowing look and we went back to playing. For the rest of the game I was casually looking over at Damon to see him talking to the same girl all night. After about and hour later Stefan had to go because he had plans with Katherine. He said he could find his own way back. I hugged him goodbye then went to look for Damon. He wasn't in his spot he was all night. I looked around but didn't see him anywhere.

I got tired of looking so I decided I would just leave. I went outside and shivered, it was getting colder at nights with fall coming around so I hugged myself and ran to the car. When I reached the car at the edge of the parking lot I heard a noise come from the back of the grill. I was going to blow it off but I remembered Damon just disappearing. To say the least, curiosity got the best of me. I started walking to the edge of the building which was only about 10 feet away from my car. What a coincidence. I turned to see Damon and the girl he's been talking to all night. She was blond and wearing a really short skirt but had great legs for it. Jealousy overcame me instantly and then my jaw dropped. He wasn't even biting her they were just making out. So if he wasn't just using her for that, it was other reasons. It made me feel sick for some reason. Then I thought what if Stefan saw this? It would of been horrible. I watched as Damon stopped kissing her and looked at me. He had one arm against the wall by her head. He smirked at me and the girl took a hold of his face and brought his attention back to her. I was pissed, hurt, jealous, and annoyed all at the same time. I stomped away to my car. He totally did that on purpose.

I drove home and went upstairs and got ready for bed. Today started off good. I finally was getting Stefan in the direction I wanted him and Damon had to go and ruin it. Is that all he is good for? Ruining my happiness. Ahh. I was so pissed. I ripped the covers off of my bed and angrily got in while huffing and puffing. I laid in bed not feeling tired at all. Too many thoughts were running through my head. I sat there in the dark. I had my windows open so it was chilly in the room. I wrapped a spare blanket around my shoulders and flipped over on the bed hiding my face in my pillow. I felt my bed sink in on the other side. I knew who it was. I screamed into my pillow as hard as I could. The fact that my scream had to be muffled made me even more mad. I leaned up from my position, and came opposite of him.

" I don't want you in my bed. You have sex germs. " He didn't move at all. " I'm serious. I don't want you in my bed. I'm mad at you. "

" I'm already in your bed. It doesn't matter now. Why are you mad at me? "

" Stefan could of seen you tonight! Do you know how bad that would make me look if you were cheating on me! " I knew I wasn't really that mad about Stefan maybe seeing him but that's what I had to keep telling myseff...and Damon.

" Yea I do, remember that already happened. ". That was a low blow. I frowned and leaned back down on the bed turning away from him, not wanting to even look at him right now. I sighed and curled into my blanket even more.

" I hate you sometimes. " I said completely serious. " You always do something to disappoint me. I cant wait for this month to be over. "

" Elena this is why you annoy me so much. You're complaining about useless stuff. What did I do that was so wrong? I didn't hook up with that girl in till Stefan left. I'm not tied down to you. I have every right to do whatever I want. Yea it was a little harsh about the whole Stefan cheating on you thing, but seriously. You can be so mature for your age and then you do shit like this to remind me your just a 17 year old girl."

" Well I'm sorry that I'm not an old man like you! " I said while shifting to look at the ceiling. I was so mad right now.

After a couple of minutes of cooling down. I looked at Damon to see him turning his head at the same time. We were starring at each other for a couple of seconds in till we both burst out laughing. I couldn't help it.

I sat up leaning on my elbows looking at him. " I'm sorry. Your right you can do whatever you want. And you don't act like an old man even if you really are one... on the inside. "

" Sometimes I get upset when I don't get my deserved senior citizen discounts. " I burst out laughing a little too loud. He looked completely serious but started grinning at my reaction. " And I guess I'm sorry for everything I said too. " I leaned back down on my bed to get comfortable. Before I knew it Damon grabbed me and wrapped me up in his arms hugging me hard with his cheek pressed against mine. " Let's never fight again! " He said purposely over dramatic.

" Never Ever! " I said equally as dramatic. He smiled and let me go.

" Now go to bed. " He said while shoving my face into the pillow.

_**AN: Tell me watcha think! **_

_**OMFG! Tonights episode was soooooooo good! **_


	7. Maybe I was the one for you

_**"From the deepest desires often come the deadliest hate."**_

_**-Socrates**_

EPOV.

Today was the first day of school. Last night there was a thunder storm and it kept me up all night. And thunder also kind of freaks me out. It was still raining when I woke up. I got up really early so now that I was ready I had nothing to do. I was exhausted and bored just sitting on the couch starring at the clock on the TV. I decided I'd just walk to school instead of driving. It just stopped raining and I had time to spare. I started walking to school and it was about ten minutes later that the rain just decided it would be a perfect time to start up again. Great. My make up and hair will be destroyed and my clothes are going to be wet. I thought about walking back home when Damon's familiar car pulled up beside me. The window rolled down and all I could hear was laughter. Damon's car stopped and so did I. I looked in the car to see him leaning on the steering wheel uncontrollably laughing.

" Shut up Damon!"

I went to open the door to his car but it locked right when my hand reached the handle.

" You should of been nicer to me. " Damon said with a straight face becoming serious awfully fast. Then I saw it, the way his face goes when he wants to laugh really bad but is trying to pretend to be serious. Then he broke out in a Grinch smile and burst out laughing again. " Goodbye. " he said about to drive off. I went for the lock through the open window but Damon was faster. He started to roll up the window with my arm already in his car.

" Don't do it Damon! You wouldn't roll me up in the window! "

" Then what am I doing right now?" He said while still pressing the button for the window. I quickly got my arm out right before it closed all the way. He smirked at me and drove back onto the street. If I didn't move out of the way fast enough he would of splashed me with muddy water. Worst pretend boyfriend ever!

I started to walk to school again. I put my hood from my sweatshirt up trying to at least save my hair. The rain stopped a little later. I wish I would of just taken my car. I finally could see the school and I couldn't of been happier. I walked inside right away. I started walking to my locker which wasn't far. I remember when Damon and I came here to get it ready and it was only literately five feet away from Stefan's. Which could be a good or a bad thing. I was looking inside my locker for my stuff not really paying attention to my surroundings. I grabbed a notebook and a pen, I was about to go off to class but I saw three picture of Damon posted up on the side. I don't remember those getting there. At least they were hot ones. I closed my locker to see Stefan standing right in front of me.

" Good Morning! " I was a little taken back by his excitement.

" Someone is chipper today. "

" What can I say? It's the beginning of a great year. " This was a first. He usually mopes around on days like this.

" Oh. A great year.. yea. " I said not even close to matching his excitement.

" So why are you in such a bad mood? " He said while we started walking down the hallway.

" Well Damon was being an ass and made me walk to school in the rain." Stefan laughed a little. " What with you Salvatore brothers with thinking that's funny?"

" I don't know. We are just different. "

" Obviously. Would you of thought last year that now I'd be dating your brother and you'd be back with Katherine." I watched as he processed that.

" It's crazy to think that was a year ago! "

" A year ago we were madly in love." My voice went softer and quieter. " And now were not. " It felt like such a lie.

" So do you want to hangout after school? " He said while trying to change the subject. I thought about it, I told Damon I was going to go out with him but after this morning I didn't really want to. But last time that happened he ended up hooking up with some chick in an alley.

" I was going to hangout with Damon. Maybe us three could hang out. ." Oh my god did those words just come out of my mouth? Take them back. Take them back! !

" Hey as long as I get to spend time with you. " He said with his smile fading a little.

" Well I guess I could just ditch Damon for little bit after school " His smile immediately brightened making it impossible for me not to smile back. " I should get to class. Meet you after school outside by the parking lot?"

" See you then. " He said while quickly kissing my cheek and going off into the other direction. I got deja vu, but shook it off and went to class.

The day went very fast. I was excited about after school. I just somehow had to convince Damon to let me hangout with Stefan without him whining about it. Wait...I shouldn't have to convince him of anything. I swear sometimes I forget we are just pretending to date.

I was glad to know not many people actually knew about Damon and I. Apparently Bonnie didn't tell Caroline so I didn't have anyone coming up to me and asking about it. Actually I think a lot more people thought Stefan and I were still together. I was coming out of my last class and went to my locker. I opened it up to see Damon's face again and it made me smile. Totally like Damon to sneak photos of himself in here. I was thinking about taking them down but decided I'd leave them up. It's a good reminder.

I was walking out of the building when I saw Damon leaning against his car. I turned to my left to see Stefan sitting on a picnic table watching me. I didn't know what I would do. I was probably in the worst position ever. If I go to Damon, Stefan would be confused and probably wouldn't want to hangout. If I went to Stefan, Damon would probably never do anything nice like picking me up from school ever again. I was inflicted. I decided to text Damon telling him to hold on a couple of seconds. If I was being completely honest I really didn't want anyone at school see me leaving with Damon. I was trying to keep this on the down low. I was too ashamed of him to go over there.

I walked over to Stefan who was waiting for me.

" That was weird." He observed.

" Yea I know. So what are we going to do?"

" Wanna go see a movie?"

" Yea lets do it, I should probably go tell Damon since he is here. " I turned around to see no Damon or no car. I then felt bad, I completely ignored him when he was trying to be nice was rare for Damon. I was feeling so guilty now. I know that Damon would of never done that to me. He might leave me out in the rain and laugh at me but he would just ignore me when I was trying to be nice and go off to Katherine. I frowned. It made me sad. I must of unconsciously have been missing him. Its weird to say but this probably had been the longest I've gone without seeing him lately. It just goes to show that even when Stefan and I get back together we will still be great friends. Whether or not he thinks that.

" I guess he had to be somewhere." I said a little quiet.

Stefan and I walked to his car. We saw a movie and he wanted to go get food afterward but I told him I couldn't. For some reason throughout the whole movie I couldn't stop thinking about Damon. I basically choose Stefan over Damon today. Not in the most serious of ways but I still felt bad. I felt like I made the wrong choice. But that is so silly, the only reason Damon and I were hanging out was because I wanted me and Stefan to hangout out. Today Damon was just cut out of the picture. I got exactly what I wanted.. I guess.

I told Stefan to drop me off at home and if he see's Damon tell him to come over. It was about 6 o'clock when I got home I sat on my couch and called Damon. It rang for what felt like forever and then his annoying voice mail came up. I tried calling him again but after two rings it went to voice mail. Did he just ignore my phone call? I'm pretty sure he did. I decided to text him.

_**'Did you really just ignore my phone call?'**_ I figured he wasn't going to call me or text me back so I went upstairs and decide to take a shower. Today was a long day and a hot shower was exactly what I needed.

I got out of the shower and it was too steamy in the bathroom to change so I walked out. I nearly had a heart attack. I let out a scream and then covered my mouth.

" You asked me to come over. " Damon said sounding a little distant. He was starring at my ceiling while laying on my bed, not even bothering to look at me. It kind of shocked me at first. Here I was in a towel and he was looking at the ceiling. I went over to my dresser got some clothes and started walking back to the bathroom. I heard the doorbell ring and I froze. It was only Damon and I in the house. The doorbell pulled Damon out of his thoughts and he finally looked at me. His eyes went wide for only a second then back to normal.

" Damon how much do you love me?"

" I'll get the door." He said while walking out of the room. Instead of going back into the bathroom, I quickly put on my shorts and t-shirt and went to the stairs. I watched as he opened the door. I couldn't see who was there so I leaned over a little bit. I could only hear talking.

" What are you doing here? " Damon said in disgust. Probably Stefan. He wouldn't of said that to a Jehovah witness or a girl scout, actually he probably would.

" Is Elena home?" I heard the voice and now I was positive it was Stefan

" She is in the shower." He said with barely any emotion. Just seemed annoyed now.

" Can I wait? "

"No. "

" Damon, let me in." Instead of letting him in Damon just closed the door and went for the stairs. Damon saw me when he got to the top. I have been caught eavesdropping. I was frozen not really knowing what to do. I smiled a cheesy smile and walked back into my room.

" Why didn't you come down there? " He said while walking over and sitting down on my window seat. I went and sat down on my bed. ' Because I had enough of him today.' I said in my head. That probably wasn't the best thing to say, when I'm trying to win him back.

" I umm. Just got out of the shower. I look gross. I don't want him seeing me like that." I lied quickly.

" So I'm the only one allowed to see the true face of Elena. I don't know If I should feel special or not. " I laughed because I didn't know either.

" So why didn't you let Stefan come in?"

" Because I know exactly what he was here for."

" What's that?" I said curiously.

" He was so here to tell you how much of a mistake he made and to beg him to take you back." I froze. Why did this sound like a bad thing? I was helping you out. If you took him back right now, which I know you would, this fast he wouldn't of learned a lesson. "

" Do you really think he was here to ask me back? " I said not believing it.

" I'm dead set on it." I heard my phone go off right when he said that. It was a text from Stefan.

_**'We need to talk ASAP. It's important. ' **_

" I think I might believe you now" I said while showing him my phone proving what he was saying. " What do you have some special mind reading ability? "

" No. I'm just simply amazing. " I laughed and looked at my phone trying to figure out what to text back. " You never take this long to text me back. "

"That because it's easy to talk to you. I just say the first thing that comes to mind. But with Stefan I have to actually think." I finally texted Stefan back and put my phone in my drawer not wanting to deal with it anymore.

" You know that could be a sign."

" A sign of what?" I said while siting back down on the bed.

" That we are meant to be together. " He said going serious. We both got quiet and were looking each other in the eye.

" Your funny Damon. " I said a hushed voice and got into my bed breaking eye contact. " Are you staying tonight?"

" You do know it's only 8 right?"

" Yea but I got up early today and had next to no sleep last night. Where were you last night by the way? You were supposed to protect me from the storm. "

" I was out. I didn't get home till very late and I didn't think you wanted me around too much." I frowned and closed my eyes trying to get comfortable. I liked him being around at night.

" No. Your supposed to save me from storms at night. You cant just come and stay over every night and randomly choose nights not to come. Especially on nights as critical as a storm night ." I said it a little slurred. I was so tired.

" It is supposed to storm again tonight." My eyes flashed open.

" This time you better be here." I said while leaning up on my elbows to look at him. " Now go do, whatever boys like to do. Just be home before the storm starts. I don't like it when your out all night it worries me."

" Be home before the storm starts? Your worried about me being out late? How long have we been married Elena? Should I pick up some milk on the way home?"

" You know we are actually out of milk. " I heard him chuckle and go to my door. Little did he know that I actually wanted him to get me some milk for cereal tomorrow.

" I'll be back in maybe two hours. I wont be gone long. "

" Bye Mo." I said while leaning back down in bed.

" Night Nena." I then drifted off into a sweet dreams.

A little bit later I felt Damon come home. I rolled over and used him as a pillow. I had my head on his chest and one leg and arm wrapped around him. He was a lot more comfortable then any other pillow I know. Sleeping like this is what I've been doing for the past couple of nights. Never slept better.

_**AN: I hope everyone had a great Halloween! **_

_**Soooo, what did you think of this chapter? I rewrote it like 4 times. I basically wanted to get that stefan is starting to want her back.**_

_**REVIEW!**_


	8. Love is real, Was it real?

_**"Fantasy abandoned by reason produces impossible monsters."**_

_**-Francisco Goya**_

EPOV

There was a loud crack of thunder and I jumped up off of Damon. I looked around making sure everything was okay. I crossed my legs and leaned forward trying to even out my breathing. Flashes of lightning brightened the room. I looked at the clock to see that it was still in the middle of the night. I got out of bed and threw on a sweatshirt. I went and closed the window that Damon must of left open.

I looked at Damon to see him sleeping. I got up and went out of my room. I went down the stairs heading for the kitchen for some water. I put my glass in the sink and looked up to see Damon standing right next to me.

" You scared me! " I said in a hushed whisper. " Why are you awake? "

" You weren't there to keep me warm. " I smiled and went back to the stairs with him following. I went back in to my bed as fast as I could trying to get warm. Damon didn't, he just sat at the end of my bed and started to put his shoes on.

" Where is my pillow going?"

" I just figured I'd leave now. I would have to go in a hour anyway. " I sat up not wanting him to go.

" Why do you do that? You always leave before I wake up. "

" Well one, there is Jenna and Jeremy. Two, you really don't need me here when you wake up. " Yes I do.

" Oh, yeah I guess. Where are you going now? " I said while crawling down my bed towards him.

" Back to my house. "

" Can I come?" I wasn't going back to sleep so why not.

" Why? You know Katherine will probably be there...with Stefan. "

" Why would I care about Katherine? " Before I knew it the words where coming out of my mouth. Of course I should care about Katherine! I'm so stupid. I had to think of something fast because the look on his face was freaking me out. "It doesn't matter if Katherine will be there or not because Stefan will be mine. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when. The more he is with Katherine the more he will be thinking about me, right? " He gave me a disbelieving look and shrugged.

" Fine then lets go." He said while standing up. I stood up on the bed and jumped on him. If he wasn't a vampire he'd probably be on the floor right now.

" Will you carry me? "

" You obviously don't care what my answer is. " He started walking down the stairs and we crept out of the house. His car was parked around the corner and I happily jumped off of him and ran to the car trying to get out of the rain. We drove in silence for a while but got to the boarding house faster then I thought. I busted inside his house trying to get warm while he casually walked in unfazed.

" You got any cereal?" I said walking into the kitchen.

" Does it really look like I eat cereal?" I just ignored him and looked around the kitchen. I had looked through the whole kitchen couldn't find anything yummy. " I'm starving. "

" Elena? " Stefan came out of the darkness looking like he just woke up.

" We didn't wake you did we? "

" Oh, I'd feel terrible if we startled you from your slumber. " Damon said sarcastically as he was searching through the fridge for something I could eat.

I just laughed and turned back to Stefan.

" No, I was already awake. " He stretched and looked at Damon. " There are Popsicles in the freezer. "

" Popsicles! " I said excited.

" I remembered how much you liked them so I picked them up the other day so when you came over you could have them. " Damon rolled his eyes and opened the freezer.

" What color? "

" Umm. " I thought about it. I was going to say red but being in a vampires house makes you suspicious of anything edible that is red.

" You want grape. " Damon said while closing the fridge.

" My, my you guys know me too well. " I said while taking the Popsicle and walking into the living room and sitting on the couch. Damon sat down on the couch with me but not really close. I looked at him confused at why he was keeping his distance then blew it off and went back to Stefan. " So where is Katherine? " I said. I frowned a little when it didn't even sound like how it used to.I silently licked my Popsicle while thinking. I wasn't even bitter towards Katherine anymore? Where did that come from? Is it because I know Stefan will want me back or I just don't care anymore?

I looked up from my Popsicle and noticed Damon and Stefan both starring at me. I looked from one to the other and they realized what they were doing and snapped out of it.

" What did you say?" Stefan said a little dazed.

I smiled and asked again. " Wheres Katherine? Aren't you guys were next to inseparable. We thought she would be here. "

" I actually haven't seen her in a while. She's always out doing something. " I felt Damon stir and I looked to see him very uncomfortable, I moved a little closer to him and he moved away from me keeping his distance. I was confused. What's going on? I went to take his hand and he stood up shacking me off.

" I think... Um. That Popsicle looks delicious, I'm going to go get one for myself." He said as he awkwardly rushed out of the room.

" Where did that come from? " I mumbled under my breath. I looked at Stefan to be staring off at Damon suspiciously.

" He has been acting weird lately." Stefan said while readjusting.

" What do you mean? "

" Whenever he comes home in the morning he is really quiet and you know how rare that is. Lately all he does is kind of mope around the house and then he disappears, which he is probably with you. " I frowned. Damon wasn't like that around me.

" Really? I'll be right back. I said while standing up. I could see the sun start to come up. Outside was still grey and cloudy. I walked into the kitchen to see Damon leaning against the counter with his head in his hands.

" What's on your mind?" Damon looked up and not expecting me to be there. That was a first. I've never snuck up on him before.

" I have a lot to do today. Can Stefan give you a ride to school? You should of just stayed home. " He said while looking around. He walked past and left the kitchen heading to the door. I saw his keys on the counter. I grabbed them and ran after him.

" You left your keys. " I said while giving them to him. I know Stefan had followed me to the door. He was standing a bit away but I was focused on Damon. I was looking into his eyes as he stared back. I don't understand. Did I do something to make him upset?

" Damon did I do something? "I whispered even though I knew Stefan could hear me perfectly. Damon just sighed and opened the door. I grabbed his hand that was on the door trying to pull his attention back. But he did the unexpected. Damon leaned in and kissed me. It was gentile and passionate. Not at all like the one before. It felt strange because it was too gentile. It felt real. The hand that was cradling my face dropped and he turned back to the door not looking at me.

" Goodbye Elena. I'll pick you up after school. " He went out the door not looking back. I was shocked. What just happened? I turned around to see Stefan's fist clenched and nostrils flared. I was dazed. I walked right past him going back into the living room. I'm pretty sure that kiss wasn't for Stefan's benefit.

I decided just to go to school in the clothes I went to bed in. I was quiet for most of the time. Making idle chit chat with Stefan. I got to school and the first thing I saw when I opened my locker door was Damon. I stared at the picture for a little bit. I don't know why I'm so confused. Why was Damon acting so weird when Stefan started hanging out with us this morning? Did that kiss have anything to do with it?

The day went slow. All I could think about was this morning and how that kiss was so different, a good different. When I did I got little butterflies and then I talked myself out of it. Before I knew it, it was the end of the day. I was standing at my locker smiling like an idiot. I get to see Damon. Maybe get some answers.

I ran out to the parking lot searching for Damon's car. I couldn't find it anywhere. I sat down next to a tree looking around. I still had a giant smile on my face. It was about ten minutes later that most of the people left. There was only a few left with me. Did he forget?

" Need a ride?" Stefan was standing above me.

" No if Damon said he'd be here he will. Thanks though. I probably see you tonight. " Stefan smiled and walked away.

More and more time flew by. I was the last one left. I had my head resting between my knees till I saw a hand being held out next to me. I looked up to see Damon. I grabbed his hand and he pulled me up.

" I figured you would of gone with Stefan or something when I didn't show up."

" Stefan asked but I said I was waiting for you " I said as we walked to his car.

" You should of gone with Stefan so I didn't have to go to all the work and get you. " He said a little bit snarky. I just love how he turns a situation that was his fault and makes me feel dumb. Screw him. I was actually excited to see him but now I was just annoyed. A simple apology for being late would suffice

" Then maybe next time don't tell me you'll pick me up." It got quiet and we both didn't say anything. " Was it real? This morning. What was that? " I just brought up the taboo subject.

" What are you talking about?"

" You know exactly what I'm talking about. That kiss. That was real." Out of the corner of my eye I could see him staring at me but I kept my gaze out the window.

" You think that was real?" He said a little quieter then usual."

" It was. " My confidence was fading a little.

" That's not how I feel." There was this pain growing in my chest. How could I be so stupid? Was it real? I thought for sure it was. I thought that maybe... Nevermind. This doesn't make sense at all.

We pulled up at my house and gladly went to leave. I went for the door and stopped. " I feel like whenever I get close to you , you keep your distance. I think something's going wrong. Maybe...I want to break up. I think it is time. Stefan and I are getting closer. I don't need your help anymore " His head snapped in my direction and he gave me a cold look.

" I can't stop what you feel. I'll see you around. Don't worry I'll let you explain to Stefan, so he can give you moral support. " He said as I got out of the car. Right when I closed the door he went speeding off with me watching after him. I think I just made a huge mistake.

_**An: Tell me what you think. Did I rush things? I hope you can tell that Damon is starting to realize how much he wants her and is freaking out a bit. **_

_**Review!**_


	9. I sleep with you but you dream of him

_** "A lions work hours are only when he's hungry; once he's satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together." **_

_**- Chuck Jones**_

I ran inside my room. Damon just left and I told him I couldn't do our fake relationship anymore. I got in my room and shut the door slowly. I sat down on the ground and leaned against the door. I was slightly shaking. What is wrong with me? A single tear escaped that I didn't even know formed. Why did I do that? We just broke up and it felt... real, but it wasn't, so why do I feel like I just lost him forever? I leaned my head back against the door letting a couple more tears fall while closing my eyes trying to trap them in.

" Elena?"

" Stefan what are you doing here?" Stefan was sitting on my window seat. " I want to be alone please just go." I said while standing up and wiping away the tears.

" Why are you crying?" Stefan asked while walking to me with a concerned look.

" Just leave Stefan! " I shouted at him while opening my bedroom door. He didn't say a word just walked out and I slammed my door behind him. This was so messed up.

I looked around my room looking for something to keep my mind off what just happened. I noticed I had an overwhelming amount of laundry to do. I grabbed my hamper and went to go wash them. I started a new load of wash while taking clean clothes out of the dryer and headed back to my room. I turned my radio on and threw my clothes on the bed. I went about folding my clothes in till I came across a shirt Damon left here one night. I grabbed the shirt and stared at it. I threw the shirt by my pillows and went back to my clothes. After a couple minutes I ran out of things to do. I already knew the next step was obsessively cleaning but I was too focused on that shirt laying on my pillow. I wanted it out of my room, out of my sight, and out of my life. I hate that shirt. I want to burn that shirt. I held a lot of resentment to a simple black vneck.

I picked the shirt of and folded it nice and set it down on my dresser. I guess I could go give it back to Damon. It's not like were fighting or anything. I grabbed my keys and drove off to the boarding house. When I got there I stood at the door for about thirty seconds bringing my hand up to knock over five times but stopped right when I was about to take the plunge.

My phone buzzed saying I got a text message. I pulled out my phone to a text message from Damon.

_**'Will you just come in already' **_

I rolled my eyes and just walked in the house. I already knew Damon would probably be in the library with his precious alcohol.

" It's getting easier to find you." I said while walking into the room.

" Took you long enough. "

" I was worried Stefan was going to be here. " I lied. " Here." I said while tossing his shirt at him. " It was in my wash. "

" OK. Bye now. " He said while turning his back to me. A little harsh for a fake breakup.

" What is with the cold shoulder? " I said while falling onto the couch. I wasn't planning on going anywhere.

" Elena I thought I made it clear that after we did our thing that we wouldn't be friends." He said while turning around.

" And I thought I made it clear that no matter what we are still going to be friends. " Breaking eye contact he went to fill up his glass.

" So are you going to go running back to Stefan now? "

" Not yet. "

" Then why did we 'break up' "

I thought about it. Should I tell him the truth or what he thinks I'm going to say? Or should I just run away? I sighed and then decided I'd give him this. " These lies I had to keep telling, how much I had to act around people, it was leading me astray from my main goal. " His eyes narrowed at me and he took a big gulp of his drink.

" Really? Your emotions were getting screwed with? Funny. Don't you know emotions are useless. That's how you got in this mess. "

" It was too much Damon and I want something that is true. If Stefan wants me back then I guess that is what I want. What Stefan and I had, that was... true." I got a little quieter not really liking this conversation.

" That is what you call true?" I flinched at his outburst not expecting it. "Are you kidding me Elena? Are you delusional? He cheated on you! If that is your definition of true then there is something wrong with you! " I was starring at him confused. Where is this coming from?

" Damon... it's not really your business." He just looked at me in an expression that made me feel stupid.

" You made it my business! You pulled me into this. " He stopped and slammed his drink down. " I can't believe this. This is all your fault! " He said while grabbing at his hair and walking to the door of the library. I jumped off the couch running after him.

" What is all my fault? I didn't do anything..." I said while grabbing his arm

" You made me into a crazy person! " He said while take my hand of off him. He walked out and I stood there staring after him. Oh no! I started speed walking after him.

"Your the crazy person? I'm the one having mood swings like I'm pregnant! One minute I hate you and the next I'm laughing at something you said and then I'll think you're amazing and probably less then a minute later I want throw vervain in your face!" I said while following right behind him as he walked through the house. His pace got a little faster trying to get away but not making it too obvious.

" Well maybe you are 'with child' Elena. It's not like you don't get around! " My jaw dropped.

" At least people actually love me! "

" Oh darling you're confusing something else with love. Don't you know guys just say that for one reason. If you were so lovable why did your boyfriend cheat on you when he found someone better? " I slapped him across his face.

" You have no idea how bad I wish I could actually hurt you. " I turned around while leaving him there holding his jaw.

Right when I got to the door I heard him yell "Elena, you hurt me? Been there done that." He said bitterly, not moving from his spot.

" You act like you actually hurt." He ignored me and walked to me.

" You know what I want? I wanna go back to the start. "

" Back when I hated you? Well you're getting pretty close. "

" This fake relationship... it was wrong all along. I don't wanna be like this. So I won't. You know the saddest part is Stefan doesn't even mean a thing to you anymore."

" You don't know anything! " I said while opening the door.

" I know your scared! Your scared you felt something for me you didn't plan on. "

" Like you said, emotions are useless." I went out the door not looking back.

_**AN: I wasnt planning on updating tonight but after I watched that episode I got motivated! I must say that ending was my favorite Delena scene yet! **_

_**Review!**_


	10. How's it feel, hurting all the time?

_** "I know indeed what evil I intend to do, but stronger than all my afterthoughts is my fury...fury that brings upon mortals the greatest evils."**_

_**-Euripides **_

Its been over a week since I talked to either Salvatore brother. At school I just ignored Stefan. I ended up ripping the pictures of Damon off my locker and shoving them in the garbage. The distance away from Damon was secretly killing me inside.I never felt more like dying. I never felt so empty and cold. The pain just keeps growing. I was sitting in the middle of my bed crossed legged thinking of all the things that I've done wrong. I couldn't help but stare at my window. Hoping that just maybe Damon would come back and I would apologize and he would too and things would go back to how they used to be.

" Why did lie?" I said out loud talking to myself. I looked at my phone to see if I had any missed calls. I didn't. I heard something by my window and I looked up immediately.

" What did you lie about? " It wasn't the brother I wanted to see.

" Stefan..."

" I just wanted to see how you were. I know your upset and you've been avoiding me. What is wrong? " I sighed and decided I'd tell him.

" I broke up with Damon. I went back over there the other day to give him some stuff and we had a huge fight again. It's just draining. "

" I'm sorry. " Stefan came and sat down next to me putting his hand on my knee. " I must say I did expect this though. "

" What? " I said a little hurt.

" You and Damon are polar opposites. He's no good for you. You deserve someone special, who wants the best for you. Who will love you forever. Someone like me. " I looked at his hand on my leg and it just didn't feel right. This is what I wanted but it just felt...odd.

" Stefan, you didn't love me enough. Sleeping with Katherine was just a big slap in the face that proved it to me. You betrayed my trust. We can be forever friends but yours, never again." As the words were coming out of my mouth I realized how I've been thinking this for awhile. I came to this conclusion a couple minutes ago when I was starring at my window waiting for Damon. I was just too scared to admit it.

" No, we can work this out. I would never do that again! Just give us a chance." He said while taking my head in his hands. "Give me another chance. If you just stop blaming me for what happened we could be happy again. "

I sighed. "Stefan I don't blame you anymore. Looking back I see that now I'm not the girl I used to be when I was with you. Things are different now. I'm different."

" No Elena. I can prove it to you that you still love me." He swept down kissed my lips. It didn't feel right. He leaned over me pushing me flat on the bed. I kissed him back but I didn't feel anything. It was freaking me out. I pushed him away which was really hard to do.

" Stefan stop! "

" Elena, please... '

" I think you should leave." I said while looking away from him. I felt a breeze and then he was gone. I looked around to make sure I was really alone.

I decided I should just go to bed now. Damon wasn't coming. I turned off my light and got in my bed. I was looking at the side Damon usually slept in. I never thought I would miss this. I wanted Damon to be here. I put my hand on the pillow and grabbed it pulling it close to me. I guess this would have to be my Damon for the night. I buried my face in the pillow, crying in to it. I wish I would of told Damon all the things I wanted to say. I heard my window shut and I jumped up. I looked around my room. I could faintly see everything from the moon light. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I went back to putting my face in the pillow. I felt my bed sink and someone was trying to take my pillow away. I squeezed my eyes hut not wanting to see who or what it was but I didn't let go of the pillow.

" Persistent aren't you? ' It was Damon. My eyes flashed open and I let go of the pillow sitting up. I was starring at him and we was starring back. He went and started wiping away the tears that were on my face. I just sat there silent and dazed. "I came to say goodbye and sorry. Yes, I'm saying I'm sorry. I know that's crazy. "

" Wait your leaving? " I said a little urgent. I thought maybe he came back to... well I don't know. " You can't leave me! "

" I don't want to stay in Mystic Falls anymore. I had to leave sometime. There's no immediate danger here like there was before. It's time to move on."

" So that's it. Your just leaving me here all by myself?" I said a little angry.

" Elena you have plenty of people here for you."

" Like who?" I said exasperated. " Bonnie wont even talk to me, I just shut down Stefan, Caroline is well, Caroline. I don't have anybody if you leave! You're like my best friend. " He turned and didn't look at me. He was starring at his hands and fidgeting. "

" Stefan was here?" He said out of the blue.

" Yea. He wanted to get back together. I told him we could never be together again."

" Did you mean it? " He looked up from his hands starring into my eyes.

" Yes. I've been thinking this for awhile now. "

" Why didn't you tell me? "

" I was scared. " I realized I just confirmed what he was thinking before. He said himself that I was scared.

" So all that time was spent wasted. " I wanted to say it wasn't. That time brought us closer together then I ever thought possible.

There was an awkward silence in the room. Damon didn't say anything and I didn't plan on opening my mouth because anything that would come out I'll probably regret. The only thoughts that were running through my head were how to get him to stay. I didn't want him to leave.

" I miss you. Is it still okay to say it? Now that are fake relationship is done, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry. That was probably the most selfish thing I've ever asked of you. I know I hurt you and I know you wont admit that I did. It may be too late but don't leave, please!" I said practically begging.

Instead of saying anything he just looked into my eyes. He was brushing the hair that drifted onto my face away when he finally spoke. " I've never met a girl as beautiful as you."

" Please don't leave me Damon." I pleaded.

" You know that day I came to pick you up from school and you went to Stefan? When I saw you with him, it was nothing like I thought it would be. It was like a modern day Katherine running to Stefan just like how things always were and always will be. I was a little too jealous for my liking. Then that time you came to the boarding house in the middle of the night and I bailed. I freaked out because you were talking about Katherine so freely. Your heart didn't even speed up with usually hatred that comes with her. You didn't care anymore and I realized even when you were discovering you didn't want Stefan anymore, I still wasn't good enough for you. There is nothing I can do to be good enough." I watched as he was lost in thought. He was rambling and I didn't know any of the right words to say. "But I'm leaving tomorrow. It's already set." He paused. "Before I leave I just have to hear it. I have to know." I froze. I didn't want to know what he was going to ask. "Could you ever love me Elena? Did it ever cross your mind? "

" Damon I... I don't know what to say." I said while looking away from him.

" The truth. That is all I need. "

" Damon if your having a bad day you'll go on a rampage, get violent, or go into a frenzied behavior not caring who you hurt. It's kill people. You use them for your own pleasure. Your mean and heartless. How could you expect me to love that?" Why was this coming out of my mouth? It's like the things I wanted to say and what I was actually saying was completely different.

" I figured you'd say something like that." He laughed without humor while going back to look at his hands. I so badly want to go to him and tell him that's not how I felt but I was frozen. He stood up not looking back to me. He opened the window about to go out when he stopped. I was searching for the right words. I kept coming up blank. It hasn't dawned on me yet that this might be the last time I ever see him. "You know one day you'll wake up and realize you're broken, just like me. You'll understand one day that I can't stand who I am. And the day you accept me you will realize, you wont see me again. " He then disappeared. I was at lost for words. I ran to the window looking out it.

" Damon! " I screamed out the window not caring if I woke anyone up. Damon was gone and he is not coming back! It's all my fault. He's gone. I was starting to panic. I ran for my phone and quickly called his number. I cant have that be the last thing I ever say to Damon and that cant be the last thing he ever tells me. It rang for a couple of seconds then his voice mail came on. I repeated that two times and then gave up. I threw my phone on the bed. I was pacing around my room not knowing what to do. There was no way I was going back to sleep. I then thought what if I called Stefan. I ran to my phone and quickly dialed his number. I heard a muffled hello.

" Stefan! Do you know what Damon is up too? He is leaving!"

" Yea, I suggested it."

" What? Why would you do that Stefan? I need to speak with him! Is he home?" I was furious!

" No, Elena. But anything important to him his already packed up. He's leaving. "

" What time is he leaving tomorrow? "

" He said he was going to be gone before noon." It was already set in my mind that I was going over there tomorrow.

" Do you even know why he is even leaving? "

" I don't know Elena." He said while sighing.

" Stefan you could be a little bit more of a help." I said annoyed.

" I really don't even care. Bye."

" Stefan don't you hang up on me! " There was a click and then a dial tone. I was so mad at him. Just because I rejected him doesn't mean he can act like such a dick.

I sat down on the edge of my bed burying my face in my hands.I've never felt alone. I hated myself. I had all the right words in my head of what to say to Damon and when he asked if I could ever love him, I panicked. It was too real. But I knew what the answer was. I couldn't let him leave. Not when I just came to the conclusion I needed him. Always.

_**AN: My boyfriend got really sick so instead of going out I updated:) I also wrote 3 other chapters for my other story, which I'll be updating soon. I know, I know, I'm so amazing. **_

_**So I'm thinking this story is coming to an end. So sad. I really loved writing this! It was my first Delena Fic.**_

_**Oh and I've been thinking. For as where the show is concerned I think Elena is going to remember what happened between her and Damon. Why? Because don't you think if she thought she wasn't going to be seeing her necklace again and just found out she is in all this danger, she would be going around without vervain? I don't know. It's probably wishful thinking. You can never really predict anything that happens on the show but that is what I think.**_

_**Review! **_


	11. I've had enough of dreaming

_**"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of overcoming it."**_

_**-Helen Keller**_

I was sitting on my bed. I just got off the phone with Stefan and I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't go to bed after what just happened. I needed to tell Damon the truth. I needed him to stay with me and never leave. I needed him to know how much I wanted him around. I need him to know how much I was willing to love him. I jumped off my bed and started pacing. I was busy thinking but a white owl was hooting outside my window. I was amazed at its beauty and walked to it. I was staring at it and was mesmerized by how close it let me get.

" Elena." I turned around to see Katherine standing there in my room, with her usual grace.

" What do you want Katherine? " I said while stepping away from my window.

" I'm here to help you. Surprisingly. Damon is leaving tonight. I heard him talking to Stefan. Stefan just lied to you." She said not even phased by it.

" Why are you helping me?" I said confused. I looked back to my window to see there was no more owl and then back at Katherine. " Was that.. Was that you? "

" Whenever you see a snow white owl in any bad or good situation, just know I had something to do with it. Maybe every selfish thing I do, isn't as selfish as you think. I want Stefan. I did my best to prove to you that you want Damon more then you want Stefan. Now its all in your hands to see how the real world will play out. You wont wake up in till you actually realize it, that's the whole part of the spell. But just so you know Stefan will be mine. Goodbye Elena. I suggest you go after Damon now. He should be leaving anytime and if you don't make it...you'll never wake up. " And with that I was alone. I was a little struck by her words but right now all I was focused on was racing down stairs and getting to my car fast enough. I drove as fast as I could to the boarding house. I came to a stop at the corner when I saw Damon walking to his car. I jumped out and ran to him. It was slightly raining but I didn't care if I got wet. Damon saw me and rolled his eyes and walked faster to his car door. I ran up to him.

" Damon wait! I need the chance to say the things I should of said but just couldn't." He stopped and turned around looking annoyed. His nostrils flared and he took a deep breath waiting for me. "I never loved somebody fully, not even Stefan. I couldn't do that. After my parents died I couldn't give it all away like that, because one day they wont be around. They'll die or leave me. I couldn't go through losing somebody again so I always kept my heart at arms reach and the thought that I didn't care if you closed that gap petrified me." I was choking up now and my voice was becoming hoarse. His position was now relaxed a little waiting for me to go on." Before I told a thousand lies to you. I said I could never love, you must of known I was lying! You know I lie! But you still believed it and that made me realize your just like me. All the things you do are for the same reasons I'm so scared and I'd give it all, just have you stay here with me. It's worth all that may hurt me in the future. It's worth all the pain I've gone just so worth it." The rain started to pick up blurring my vision a little. I was soaking wet trying to read his expression. "I never really told the truth so honestly. Damon I love you. Your drive me so crazy sometimes and all it does is make me want you more and more." He didn't say anything just looked at me with wide eyes.

" You know Elena. Everything about you, makes me want to hate you." He said loud enough so I could hear over the rain. "Everything you just told me is what I so desperately needed to hear... before. Your just a little too late." He said while turning back to his car and walking to it.

"It's a shame you don't know what your running from! You know this will be your biggest mistake! Just fight for once! I know all your hope is not gone! I hate the way I never listen to myself! But this time I have to and if you leave then your not the man I thought you were." I yelled back. I had to fight for him.

He got in not even giving me a second look. My heart just dropped out of my chest. I was standing in the rain on the edge of the drive way watching the car start. He pulled out of the drive way and turned onto the street. I was frozen. The rejection was hitting me hard. It felt like I couldn't breathe. I slowly started running after his car, trying to see it through the rain. I stopped when I saw his break lights flash. I watched as the car came to a sudden halt. Before I knew it his door was wide open and he was running to me leaving his car still on behind him.

" I'm such an idiot. " He said while grabbing my face and kissing me hard. I kissed him back just as eagerly trying my best to show him just how much I loved him. It felt like he was doing the same. I didn't want this moment to slip away. I needed to hold onto this forever, in case it wasn't real all along. He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes with so much passion I've never seen in a man before. " Elena Gilbert. I need you. All I did was hurt myself In the process of falling for you. And the worst part is I can't even blame you for it." He said with a chuckle. "Well if this is love then it's hard to say, but I want it all from you. I want you in every way possible. You'll be my everything if you will just be mine. For real this time. "

" Damon I was yours all along." I said while kissing him again and then everything went black.

I gasped. I sat up in bed looking around me. I was breathing heavily and trying to put the pieces together. Just two seconds ago I was with Damon and now I'm in a bed? There was an arm around my waist. I looked down to see Stefan in a deep sleep. Whats going on? I was having a hard time discovering what was reality and what wasn't.

" Wheres Damon? " I said while shaking Stefan awake.

" Elena what are you doing? " Stefan half awake leaned up. " What's wrong are you okay? " He said while rubbing circles in my back. " Bad dream? " I looked around the room trying to figure out where I was. Dream? Was that all a dream? I could practically feel the water on my skin. I could feel Damon's kisses. I could feel everything. It couldn't of been a dream. I looked around for my phone. I now remember where I was. I was in Stefan's bed.

" Stefan why am I in your bed? " I said forgetting about the phone.

" You slept here last night. We went on a date and came home and...Do I need to refresh your memory? " He said while kissing my shoulder.

" Why would I be here? You cheated on me. Where's Damon? " Stefan stopped kissing me and looked at me.

" Cheat on you? I would never do that. Elena, you know I love you. I would never do anything as absurd as cheating on you. Damon is probably sleeping. Its only 4 in the morning."

" No!" I said as a tear fell. "You cheated on me with Katherine and Damon and I pretended to date because you were with her and I wanted you back and..." I was full on crying. I squeezed my eyes shut not wanting to believe it. It felt like my heart just broke in half. I felt naked, and exposed. It couldn't of been a dream. No it wasn't. It was not a dream I'm for sure of it. Stefan put his arms around me trying to soothe me. I wanted the comfort I just had seconds ago in my dream. I wanted Damon. I didn't want Stefan's arms around me.

" Elena, you've been really stressed lately waiting for that writing program to get back to you. I know how bad you want it. It just taking a toll on you causing you to dream crazy things." I opened my eyes to his words. Memories of biting my nails and freaking out about this letter that was coming back to me. Then memories of my dream where I got the letter and I ran over to the boarding house and Katherine and Stefan were together. I didn't know what was real and what was fake. I jumped out of the bed leaving Stefan in it. "Elena!" He yelled after me but didn't move out of the bed. I ran to Damon's room and busted open the doors. I was still crying when I found Damon. He was siting up in his bed obviously just woken up. He was gently touching his mouth looking bewildered.

" Damon it had to be real! " I said while sobbing. He looked at me surprised but still warily.

" What are you talking about Elena? " he said in a quiet detached voice.

" It couldn't of been a dream. I can feel it. I can feel you. It couldn't of been! " I jumped forward, crawling onto his lap and kissed him full on the lips. I felt the familiar way he kissed me back and I knew he remembered.

" It's like I can still feel the rain. " He said against my lips.

" What happened Damon? It was real. I swear it was. You even remember! " I said while leaning back to look at him. " I don't even know what day it is." I said while crying even harder.

" Shhh. It will be okay Elena. " Damon said while wrapping his arms around me. This is what I needed. I closed my eyes and leaned against his chest. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes and he slowly rocked us back and forth.

" I didn't know you were ever the comforting type. " I said with my eyes still shut. I heard the hooting of an owl and my eyes flashed open and I leaned off Damon. I looked out his window to see and owl perched on the tree branch. It stayed there for a second and then flew away. I smiled and looked back to Damon. I didn't hesitate and kissed him right away again. It was slowly starting to all make sense. I remembered Katherine's words 'You wont wake up in till you actually realize it, that's the whole part of the spell.' I didn't care what people would think of us. I didn't care about Stefan waiting innocently in the other room for me. I didn't care that katherine put a spell on us to realize we loved eachother. All I cared about right now was being with Damon.

" Elena you remember it too? It was months. How can... I don't understand. " He said while kissing me back in between words.

" I don't know either. All I know is, I love you Damon. And nothing will change that. Not even waking up to find out it was all a dream."

_The end._

_**AN: Okay so you all should be very happy right now. I wasn't going to have a happy ending but I just had to have them end up together. It was going to be she woke up from it all and when she realized it was a dream that was the ending, but I couldn't do it. I had to change it and throw in the whole Katherine Scenario. So now I'm really nervous what you guys will think about the ending because I changed it at the last minute so they ended up together. **_

_**Review and tell me if you hated/loved the ending. **_

_**I'm so sad it's over:(**_

_**Thank you to everybody who has reviewed/ added to alerts, or those who just read the story. It means the world to me! **_


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